Anti-bisexualism also comes from the lesbians and gays who think bisexuals need to just pick a side. Coming out as bisexual may seem easier because it reassures people that “at least you’re not fully gay,” Winston says, but there’s “tons of homophobia” behind this assumption. This is perhaps why some view bisexuality as “a gateway” identity - a place for gays and lesbians to hang out until they’re comfortable acknowledging who they really are. The two are not mutually exclusive.īisexuality also suffers from what Winston calls “the illusion of acceptance,” which creates the idea that being bi isn’t a big deal. “Because of the way conversations about bisexuality have become entwined with conversations about monogamy.”Īs Winston points out in her book, if you’re worried that a bisexual won’t be faithful to you, your issue is with monogamy, not bisexuality. Unfortunately, bisexuality is “a hyper-sexualized identity because of the stigma around it,” Winston says.

Winston presents bisexuality as “a lens through which to reimagine our world.”

Winston’s book is more than just an account of her personal journey toward identifying as bisexual and grappling with all of the stereotypes and misconceptions that come with it. And I want to ask, why do we have to work by their rules?” It’s a radical idea inspired by Shiri Eisner’s writing about bi stereotypes, which Winston quotes in her book: “If we’re saying, ‘No, we’re not confused no, we’re not promiscuous no, we’re not greedy,’ then we accept that it’s wrong to be confused, it’s wrong to be greedy, it’s wrong to be promiscuous. “I think that’s true for some bisexuals, which is fine.” “I don’t think that that’s a myth,” Winston tells Pride Source from her home office in Brooklyn. This is, in fact, why Winston titled her book “Greedy.” There’s an idea that being bisexual means you want it all that by not limiting yourself to either men or women, you’re some kind of sexual glutton. Unlike color blindness, however, bisexuality is weighed down by stereotypes, misconceptions and denial.Īccording to Jen Winston, author of “ Greedy: Notes from a Bisexual Who Wants Too Much ,” to be bisexual is to be told that you’re asking for too much and that you don’t exist, which is a difficult place to navigate. If you don’t tell people, they won’t know. Being bisexual is a little like being colorblind: no one would notice just by looking at you.

Jen winston greedy